tears

guess what its st patricks day. the weather is frekin amazing. and im at home crying and i want to die. idk y like what the hell man people r just so stupid and i just want kill them. but i want to kill myself first most of all. im liostining to the song ur gaurdian angel because its the only song that makes me feel better when im crying. i just want to drop dead and die!!!!! just please help and the person that i like is bieng a bitch and is like oh no i want u to go home and stay there. so i just crossed the block and started to cry. i couldnt even hold it in. sometimes i just want to die slowley..........................

Love?!?!

what the hell is love. it doesnt mean anything. if love was real then people wouldn't get hurt at all. so like i like this guy a lot and my friend likes him just as much as i do. (i think) idk what to do because people say that i look good with him and like some of my so called friends are like oh ur such a bitch  how could u do that to gabby and im just like............ ugh u know. their is nothing that i could really do. so like in the beginning me and gabby got into this big ass fight and i dont know. then this took a turn for the worst. my friend was bothering me about how i was single and i just blurted out u know what i'm not single . i have a boyfriend and his name is Larry! i had nothing else to say but of course, my big mouthed friend did. so she was like oh ur such aa liar blah blah blah and i'm like no i'm not and to prove me and him r going to the movies together on friday and so ull belive me ull come with us. in my head it sounded good but now what i have to do is ask larry to be my fake date which sounded pathetic. idk how it happend but then my friend couldn't come and then it turned into a real date. so at the movies we were just having a normaal day when he kissed me. all thought about was gabby and how bad she would feel if she found out. their was nothing i could say or do so that i could go back in time to the point where i asked him out on that fake date. . i was happy but angry. like i wanst thinking about the kiss or larry or even how i looked like.i want to die soooo badley but i just idk something keeps holding me back. if somebody would ask me, anya, do u want to die right now i think i would say yes. love is just mad confusing. it gets people all fuked up and it interfears with everything and idk what to do about it. i cant just quit guys. for me thats just like impossible. but can i just leave them alone just untill school is done. ya thats gonna happen.

so like untill next time on my never ending journey of life 

                                                                               ANYA

oh and ps if any of u have any comeents feel free to vent :-)