smiles

so like i was thinking like u know enough of all of the tears. i think that that its time for some smiles. so like for once in my life nothing bad really happend today. me and gabby are preety much reunited like i said it would be like. my mom isnt frekin screaming at me. my room is clean and like we practicly remodeled it. we have a new carpet, new bedding sheets, and like i can finally c my floor. i havent been yelled at in a while and like my dad finally remembers that i live in the house. my belly dancin teacher is even recomending me to frank sinatra high school. ii luv life. (for now) i cant really find anything to be sad about right now but like the suckish way that my life is im preety sure that something might turn up. so keep reading and then we will like c if im correct. bye guys luv ya <3

friends.........

omg do true friends even exist. right now im well u guessed it sitting on the computer and thinking about my so called friends. i fukin hate gabby so much every time she talkes to me its always somethings bad. like she fukin mad at me for nmo reason, or like im to happy, and like today we had a pajama party and i was asking kristy joelle and gabby so walk me home. so like joelle was all up for it and like kristy was ok with it as long as everybody else way going. so like joelle asked gabby "hey do u want to walk rebecca to the her house (which was a block away i might add.) and of course the idiotic and depressing ass gabby gave her a dirty ass look. like wtf who do u think u r u bitch. like u dont wanna fukin walk me say so u dont wanna be my friend say so like ughh this bit h gets me like so mad. i hate her so much right now id even care if she reads this. now idk if she ever really did like me but uknow what fuck it im not talking to her or anything. like im tired of her one day bieng all happy happy and shit and the next day she fukin hates me. bitch please. i.d fukin need u like really man u think i cant like without ur bi-polar ass well ur wrong i can. do call me on skype or nothin. u either be happy all the time its not a part time thing ok. and like in class or when we were at her house, she was just like so effin protevctive. like i was on top of kristy like i always am and she decides to scream at me and tell me to get off and then pull my arm. like who the fuck am i to her ok im not some fukin toy that u can play around with her. i am a human and im not always happy. i frekin hate it when ur over protective and like idc if thats the way u r because i know that ur really not. id even know what to do with her anymore. i cant trust anybody no matter who it is . like i always say friends are like leaves, found everywhere. but true friends are like shooting stars they are rare. and u know what gabby used to be but now to me shes just a leaf nothing more. i might forgive her but i might not and ill tell u this i probabylwill fogive her but i know this much, the bond between us will never be as strong as it was befor............

today........

i luv him no him no him. ugh y cant i just make my mind up. i have a bf named yoseph and im really starting to regret it and hes always oh ur cheating ion me i know it dont lie. and im like yo chill out but he doesnt listen and he raised his hand at me! like about to hit me. so im dumping his ass but then this other kid named brandon, asked me out. i didnt know what to say so im like maby. i want to say yes but there is a guy i really like. his name is eddie. all of my friends think that hes ugly but i think that he is so hot. i just cant take it anymore. i have to many crushes. but eddie would never go for a girl like me. im stupid and ugly. and apperently to my so called friends to happy or like slutty. im sick and tierd of bieng called a slut people say it and im just liike oh ok w.e. but inside im screaming. im gonna change. from now on im not tellin nobody who i like. imma change the way i dress. no more eye liner no more boys. inside ill be who i am. but now i know in this past 8 months of school that i cant be who i really am. people a;ways joke around going like oh ur a slut hahahahah. nicholes is always like oh ur a bitch ur this this and this and im like yo chill. but he keeps goin and goning but i laugh but inside im slowley dying......................